Changes (Moving Forward)
by lafantomette
Summary: Darvey one-shot, post e616. Just a little fic to cheer you up and maybe give you hope...


**_A/N: That was supposed to be a little ficlet for a bunch of people I really care about, but it ended up being a tad too long so I decided to post it here. Nothing complicated, just me thinking that the last Darvey scene in 612 doesn't mean it's over. Maybe this is just a new beginning of something different, and them assuming different roles. Hope it cheers up a few Darvey fans._**

 ** _Enjoy! xoxo Fantomette_**

* * *

She wants more.

He asked her what she meant and she gave him an honest answer when she said she didn't know. He didn't say anything and she saw something in his gaze she had never seen before. Was it deception or sadness? Maybe that was just another hint that they would never be in the same mindset, never be quite ready for each other. Just more confirmation that there wasn't more she could obtain from this complicated relationship they had.

Maybe it was time to move on.

She had tried moving on, with Mitchell. Everything was perfect. Mitchell was perfect. Mitchell loved her. Mitchell wanted everything for her and with her, he wanted to live together. She tried imagining a future with Mitchell, she really tried, hard.

Mitchell was everything except he wasn't Harvey.

Now she was confused. Maybe she couldn't imagine herself with anyone else because Harvey had been her present for so long he somehow became her constant?

Always there, but never quite there in the way she wanted.

As she takes another gulp of Chardonnay, she ponders that maybe the problem is HER: she spent years denying it and not even acknowledging it existed but the truth is, she always hoped she'll get more from him. What is it about a woman who secretly hopes she'll get more from a man who has enough issues to keep a class of therapists busy for their whole cursus?

Of course, she knows why.

Chemistry.

Respect.

Trust.

...the other time.

Many things you can't even explain but are just THERE between two people.

She really wanted The Donna to work, she wanted to prove to everyone that she could be something without HIM, that she wasn't just a secretary. This wasn't only about Harvey, even if after all this time, his dreams and goals had become hers and maybe she had lost little bits of her in all this. She wanted to become an actress. Now her acting mainly consisted of putting on a brave face and acting happy even though she felt sad and incomplete inside.

When she hears someone knocking on her door she knows it's him.

She opens the door. He's standing there, looking at her with concern. She doesn't let him in right away, she just says "Harvey, no."

"No? What…" He tilts his head and she feels vulnerable under his scrutinizing gaze. She's only wearing a tank top with yoga pants and it's like she can practically feel his eyes on her skin before he focuses on her face again. He looks nervous. "Donna, you left and…"

She shakes her head and starts. "Okay Harvey listen. This isn't about you anymore. I will leave when I want, I have to live my life, I have to decide if…"

He takes a step forward and she feels his hand, warm on her naked forearm. She can't stop the goosebumps and like on cue, he removes his hand, but not taking a step back. She wants him to go away, she doesn't need to smell the remains of the familiar scent of his cologne he put on this morning, she doesn't need to feel his brown eyes on her skin, she doesn't need him…

"Donna. Listen. You left, crying. I didn't want to say anything because this isn't about me. But I can't stand to see you cry." He stops and exhales a sharp breath. She realizes she had cried, again. She feels the tears on her cheeks and she lifts her hand to wipe them away.

"Donna. This isn't about me. This is about you. And I thought maybe, you would need…" He hesitates before saying. "Someone. To talk to."

It takes a few moments to register what's happening.

Harvey. There. For her. Offering comfort.

She still doesn't know what to say, staring at him in disbelief. He smiles shyly and that's when she sees that he has a bag, his smile widens and he answers the questions in her eyes by showing her what's in the bag.

"I bring an old friend," he says, offering her a pint of Chunky Monkey. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to," he offers at last with that grin of his she can't resist.

She lets him in and she gets two spoons from the kitchen. She joins him on the couch, sitting next to him, knees touching, as he opens the pint of ice cream. He has removed his coat and she finally notices that he's only wearing a white t-shirt with jeans. She hasn't seen him dressed that way in years and her stomach flip-flops. He looks different, not wearing one of his expensive suit. He looks younger, less worried, eating ice cream on her couch. He looks like the one she imagined her future with and the one man she had in mind when she broke things off with Mitchell. But it's still Harvey, tells her the little voice inside her head. Same old Harvey. Probably showed up here with an agenda, because that insecure man can't bear to see her get away but still isn't willing to risk anything for her. Again, he will tell her things that sound like they are taking out from a romance novel: _'I can't be me without you'_ or _'I need you'_ , except that this is real life and this story has been going on for too long, she deserves a happy ending and she doesn't want to keep reading the same darn chapter over and over again.

"I can't eat all of this alone" he tells her. He pushes the pint in front of her and she takes a spoonful. It's delicious and it's stupid, she knows it's only ice cream, but she already feels like she's in a better mood.

They spend the next 10 minutes eating from the same bucket of ice cream, in silence. She keeps thinking he will say something but he doesn't. She feels his eyes on her as she licks the spoon, she thinks she sees a mix of lust and sadness in his gaze but she could be wrong… It can't be…

When there is no ice cream left, when they are both left licking their spoons and then, put them in the bucket, when she mutters 'thanks Harvey' and then settles back into the couch, her head falling behind, that's when she feels his finger under her chin and she turns her face so they lock eyes.

"I just want you to know that if you need to go, it's okay. I won't try to stop you."

She feels red creeping up her cheek because he's now holding her face in his hand and the last time they touched that intimately was 'the other time'.

"Why?" she finally says after swallowing thickly.

His palm is on her cheek, she can feel the calluses and the parts that are soft and she can feel his fingers in her hair and she doubt she will be able to hear his answer over the sound of her heart beating out her chest.

"Because...I want you to be happy." There's something incredibly soft in his eyes and her heart skips a beat.

He hasn't said the three words, he didn't want to burden her with them again. But this time, they were there hanging in the air, implied in everything he said and lingering all around them.

He removes his hand and he slowly stands up. She's in shock. She has so much to decide. She still doesn't know what she wants exactly, she still wants more. She still has a lot to figure out…

But he's her past, her present and her future.

She's watching him leave again but this time it's different. He isn't running away. He's clearly giving her the space she needs and asked for.

She gets up and catches his hand before his other hand is on the door knob. When he turns around she doesn't think twice as she wraps her two hands around his neck and pull him into a kiss. He's hesitant at first, but he's the one who deepens the kiss, tongue sliding against hers, taking her breath away as he tangles his fingers through her hair, pressing his other hand on the small of her back pulling her closer to him until their bodies are flushed, both burning in that close embrace. He tastes of chocolate and banana and scotch and him, it's been years but he still tastes familiar and she can't help a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She feels him smile against her lips too when she skims her fingers on his chest, under his t-shirt. Their bodies flushed against each other, she knows the effect she has on him, she can feel IT as he breaks free, and delicately catches her wrist to stop her hand from caressing his skin.

"Okay…" He says his voice hoarse, out of breath and heavy from need. "You have a lot to figure out. Just…" He rests his forehead on hers and stops talking as he tries to settle his breath to a more regular rhythm. They are holding both hands together, linking fingers. His skin is even warmer than hers, she can feel the pearls of sweat on his forehead and she wonders if she managed to push the famous Harvey Specter to the edge without even removing one piece of clothing…

"Are you okay?" she whispers with a tiny smile in her voice.

"Well, you kissed me," he whispers back. "It was...unexpected." He chuckles softly.

"I wanted to try this," she giggles.

"Okay," he replies simply and he leaves a kiss on her forehead. "Well, I am not the one who…" he doesn't finish his sentence. "I mean, Donna, clearly I think you know what I want. But this isn't about what I want anymore and that's why I didn't want to say anything. You call the shots."

He opens the door but she's still holding his hand, not quite ready to let him go. She wants him to stay, she wants him to make love to her and hold her. But she knows they should take things slow, she wants to make sure they are both ready, she needs to know the changed man she saw tonight is here to stay. Now, she is the one who needs comfort and support and if they want to have a future together, she has to make sure he can be this man for her, not just tonight, but always.

"Goodnight Harvey." she kisses his lips one last time before he goes, and when he's gone and she rests her back against the closed door, she finally feels like things are moving forward…


End file.
